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So whattup wit y'all? I kinda read.. not too much... not really home anymore.
Buut umm Alena, thas so cute about your baby! Congrats & I'm happy everything going good this time!
Anyways! Let me tell you..... wow.
Eliza.. my best friend.. well used to be. I did a lot of shit for her when she was goin' thru it & I mean thru it... ha. I took her to the hospital, I told the Dr. that she was suicidal and shit. I called her mom & told her. Her mom flipped when she got there saying it was mine & Erica's fault, because we smoke weed. Hmm... noooo. Anyways.. thas just the SHORT version of that. She got weird but anyways what I wanted to say is: she is wanted to conspiracy to John & Fifth's selling. Hmmm. If she go to Reading again to visit John she gon' get locked up wit him. Ha. Thas crazy.
John is still locked up. They thinking he might get out July 18 but I don't think so.. they keep saying that shit every month. He jus gotta' keep his head up, he doin' a good job, but it's hard in there. Damn, it's crazy sitting there talking to him thru a window which you can barely hear thru when people are sitting next to you and shit. Not cute at all... I jus broke down when I saw that shit. Thas my brother, haha .. stay up to him.
Boo, John's brother got arrested for some shit a little bit ago & he's on 8 years probation I think, or some shit like that. Anyways.. Boo on the run for 8 years for some CRAZY shit. It's private or I'd tell.
I got my belly button re-pierced today.. TOTALLY RANDOM!! I was wit Eliza and I was telling her I should get my belly button pierced and she drove right to the place and made me.. haha kinda. I wanted it. It's so cute ; ) !!
July 8th, Eric & I are going to Cali!! I'm SO excited. His family lives out there and we are going to have soo much fun, at least I pray so! Him & I have resolved a lot.. there's still a lot to work out and it's going to take a REAL long time, I know this.. but when you feel a certain way, you just can't stay away. He's my heart & always will be. We gon' have beautiful kids one day hehe. ; )
Oh, I went to the Dr. & I'm going to physical therapy for my shoulder. Some shit wit the nerves, tendonitis and impingement... WOW! I go right before work.. because thas where I work! I <3 MY JOB!! I do.. it's a real good job.
Also I was at the Dr. for depression and anxiety.. got put on medicine.. "welcome to the crazy club!" Half of America is like this, scary.
School... blah. No comment.
Money is a bitch still.. never changes. Low at the moment, but I'ma make it.
The Keyshia Cole CD is off the hook, like I said it was gon' be since like MARCH or some shit. I been had more than half the CD forever. Hot shit.. all of it!
Time to go.. wait for Erica to hit me upp.. blazee upp! Adios.Current Mood:  high Current Music: Keyshia Cole - You Changed |
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Whaaaaat? An update?? Lol.
Let me briefly explain some shit thas going on wit me.
I am in my second semester in college & this shit is crazy. I'm still undeclared and have no idea what to do wit my life. School is real hard & I'm scared to fail or get bad grades. This semester ain't too bad wit outside work, just straight up studying, which I do not know how to do! But the only class I'm REALLY worried about is my Psychology. My other classes are; Communications (Speech), Spanish & Business.
Friends, lol. I don't know what the deal is. They come & go quickly & it's a weird part of life. People who you think are close wit you, only there to be two-faced, you know? My closest are of course my cousin Amber!, Eliza<3, Chandra<3 & O'Landis ; ), I miss my Herbert ; (, My boyyy John locked up in BCP -- FREE JOHN BALLARD! & then just people I'm just cool wit.
Eric & I are no longer together, but we are still really close. A lot of shit went down & I found out A LOT that has scarred my heart. But at the same time, I see all he is trying to do for me. It's a crazy situation, I want it to work, but then sometimes, I'm just like... "let me be". I think it's that whole freedom thing that I ain't have in a few years. Plus, for some reason, a lot of guys been noticing me & trying to talk to me & shit? It's kinda nice, but I ain't down for none of them, I just think the attention is good. ; \ .. I deserve it tho. Actually, I deserve the best, and I will have it one day. Eric wants to be wit me, but I'm just not having it at the moment, and I'm not sure who I can really blame, because it's not me. I feel bad because he be gettin' frustrated wit me & he's waiting, but he don't have to, you know? I do tell him to "do him", but I don't know. Him & I aren't clear, but at the same time things are cool wit us. Despite it all, I do love him, I always will. <3 & THIS SITUATION IS TOO MUCH!!!!!
My car is so pretty, lol. Besides all of the problems. It'll cost A LOT to get all fixed, but they are minor.
Money is always a bitch.
I recently got a new job, a REAL job. I'll be working at a physical therapy office. I'm happpy ; ))
& I'm done because my arms & hands hurt so much, I do not be on the computer writing.
Haaaaa, peace.Current Mood:  lazy |
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RECENTLY TWO MEMORABLE EVENTS TOOK PLACE
Last week we had Groundhog Day and the State of the Union Address.
One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a creature of
little intelligence for guidance.
And the other involves a groundhog.
Hahaha!
Bush is truly an idiot.
& thanks to those lovely voters/supporters...
That whole social security thing is disappearing,
not to mention the HUGE deficit we are drowning in.
If the draft would be re-instated, which there is
no proof, yet... I hope YOU voters go, first, of course!
Possibly a real update is soon to come.Current Mood:  chipper |
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Dec. 17th, 2004 @ 12:14 am
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The difference between a BOY & a MAN
-A BOY imitates the movies always trying to be the "Mack Daddy".
-A MAN pose the inner strength to love a woman back.
-A BOY looks at your body.
-A MAN looks at your soul. He knows you have so much to offer & him with her, he can grow.
-A BOY will ask to spend the night.
-A MAN wants to share your life.
-A BOY just wants a "piece of ass".
-A MAN yearns for a wife.
-A BOY will leave you insecure, while he wonders where he is.
-With a MAN you are always reassured, & he will take care of his.
-A BOY can give you moments.
-While a MAN brings memories. He values things like trust and honor.
Current Mood:  contemplative Current Music: Sparkle & R. Kelly - Be Careful |
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By the time the Lord made woman, he was into his sixth day of working overtime.
An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?"
And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her?
She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and she will do everything with only two hands."
The angel was astounded at the requirements. "Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."
"But I won't," the Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days."
The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft, Lord."
"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."
"Will she be able to think?", asked the angel.
The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate."
The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek.
"Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."
"That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!"
"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.
The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride."
The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing."
And she is! Women have strengths that amaze!! They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.Current Mood:  happy |
| » VOTE OR DIE! |
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I voted! Lol. I'm all excited & shit! ; )
I hope Kerry wins.. I realllllly do! I can't stand another 4 years of Bush & his bullshit!
Anyways... MAKE SURE Y'ALL VOTE IF YOU CAN, IT'S IMPORTANT!!!
& good luck!
Nov. 2nd, 2004 @ 10:03 am
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| » Answer these questions.. I'm curious! |
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Taken from Miss Vanessa AKA ![[info]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) dezireddiva Thank you!
Everyone, answer these, please?!! I would LOVE to know!
1. Tell me one thing you love about me.
2. Tell me two things you love about yourself.
This one I'm particularly interested in, so make it good.
I mean it. No self-deprecation allowed!
3. Look through the comments ~ when you see someone you know, tell them three things you love about them.
4. Do this in your journal so I can tell you what I love about YOU - and if you've already done it, tell me so that I can go back and give you some love.
Oct. 26th, 2004 @ 11:47 am
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| » Work >; ( |
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I really do not want to work. I despise going to work everyday. I do not want to work this shitty 12-6 shift. Only one 15 minute break, sigh!! I'm exhausted, I don't know if I'ma make it! Plus my eyes are FUCKED up. I wish I could get a job that I actually liked. It's hard to get jobs & ones that pay good with a better working environment. I don't know where to work really. But this whole drug test thing is annoying! Lol. I'm scared to try to get a job that does that... blah! Anyone know any remedies that acutally work?! Oh well.
I am sooo tired. I just went out wit Chandra & Kathy last night.. just chilled. I hate cigarette smokers! Lol. This shit kills my eyes, that's why they hurting. I don't want to put my contacts in. Anyways, I got home at like 2 and to bed around 3.. but my aunt is here to visit & her and my mom are real loud, especially in the morning!! Annoying!
& I wanna' eat my french toasst ; ( but I'm waiting for the powdered sugar. Mmmm. Hungry!
I miss my baby ; ( I wish we was together today. He's at home working so he has money to buy me my LONG OVERDUE birthday presents, haha. I'm so scared to see what Christmas is going to be like this year ; \\. Eric, how do you feel on that topic? Is it going to be as bad as this whole bday experience?
Vanessa aka dezireddiva said this song ( Mario - Let Me Love You ) was addicting, and yes it definitely is. It is too cute, calming.. beautiful. But, I saw the video today & I was mad. I hate when songs I like come out on video & played on the radio because that means EVERYONE will be listening to it & play it out!
Anyways, let me go because I need to get my hair done & shit.
& Eric, I miss you too much! I can't wait until Tuesday just to spend 3 small hours with you, but that will make me smile more than anything. I love you, xox!
Adios!
Oct. 23rd, 2004 @ 11:06 am
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| » Oo boy I love ya, you know I need ya, can't live without ya........ |
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What a day. It's ugly outside. I'm not motivated to do anything, except think.
I don't know how to explain my love to anyone else. I know how to make it look the worst, I know how to cry about it, I know how to complain about it, yet I don't know how to put the beauty of it into words.
What can I really say? Eric and I have been together for over three & a half years, and I could never be with another. He is just so amazing to me, there's always something about him that I find to smile about.
We have definitely been through it, I will admit. Him & I don't exactly have good times, all of the time. We argue, get frustrated....... etc., it's so hard to live far from eachother. I know it'd be a different world if we were close, but we're not, so we just live with it. I'm hoping that we both soon realize things about eachother & learn to adjust, because they are things that won't and can't be changed. The things that can be changed, will be, if we are willing, if we want the best for our relationship.
What you all don't know about us is how perfect we really are. I'm so serious. He has been here for me from day one, through EVERYTHING. He has been there to pick me up when I'm so low that I can't even see the sunshine. He tries to make me smile, make me feel good about being me, and makes me want to live another day. I've never in my life had a friend like him. If I lost him in my life, I would not be anywhere. I need him so much. I could never show the amount of love I have for him, but I hope he knows.
There is never a moment when I don't think about him and I. I cannot wait to start my future, with him. ( I know baby, I shouldn't think about the future, but I can't help it! I want you there. ) He is the only thing in my life that I know I can really count on. Don't get me wrong, I'm very independant in what I do with my life, I know that if it comes down to it, I need to be able to support myself, and I can. I don't need anyone to help me in that area. But when it comes to my heart, it's Eric's, regardless. No one will ever take it away from him or me. No one can take away what we have. It is too strong. I hope we both realize that what we have is irreplaceable & never let stupid things come in between, because in the end, it's not worth it.
I dedicate everything I do in my life to him. I love him so much.
You're the best friend anyone could ever ask for. You mean the entire world to me & more. You are my backbone & the reason I breathe. You are my heart, my soul & my life. I hope nothing ever separates us like it has in the past. Forever began on that day in March, but eternity begins today. I love you with all of my heart & I always will.
I love you, I really, truly, honestly do. Where ever I go in life, you will always be in my heart & hopefully in my arms. Please don't ever stray away from me.
Laura & Eric
March 02, 2001
The chronicles of us began
& no one will ever take that away from us
Oct. 19th, 2004 @ 02:03 pm
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| » What the hell? |
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WTF HAPPENED TO MY JOURNAL??
LOOK AT IT!! >; (
SOMEONE HELP ME FIX IT!
Anyways, I'm trying to write a damn book report on "All Quiet on the Western Front".. BLAH! It sucks. I don't know what the hell to write.
& I love you Eric, xox!
Oct. 13th, 2004 @ 06:20 pm
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| » I can't see how you could bring me to so many tears after all these years... |
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I really hate you. This is out of control. I'm sick of apologizing for me being mad. I wouldn't be mad if you didn't do something wrong/stupid. You apologize for once. Take responsibility for your stupid actions. Granted, it is something small, but it's not right. You know I've been asking you, but you told me "no, it's not my apartment to invite people to stay". Then you end up taking someone else? Haa. For your information, I'm not the only one who thinks it is fucked up, and you know that it is regardless. Oh well tho, huh? Oh & you can't even fucking call me? You're completely wrong, and now it's over. So sad. It doesn't hurt you at all, right? You could care fucking less. It only ever hurts me, because I actually care. Whatever tho, it's done. I'm finished being the only one to care, I'm done being the only one to cry, I'm so close to being gone. It's real this time. We can't get this back the way it was, no use in trying. You don't give a fuck. So fuck it. & fuck you for hurting me SO damn much. All you were was heartache, broken promises and lies. I can't do it anymore. My heart is completely gone, you took it from me. I know you're going to tell me I don't need to be acting like this, but don't you see? I'm so done with all of this. I've told you so many times before. You don't think about how things will make me feel, ever. It's not even about the love anymore, if you can't do small things for me, if you can't admit your wrongs and apologize, if you can't find it in yourself to make small efforts to make me happy, then it all really isn't worth the pain. & as far as I can see it, love was never there anyways, thru all of my pain & heartache, all you did was turn away from me.
Oh well, it's done now & me too.
Does anyone know how hard this is going to be? If only he'd change his ways. But I know, I know, I can't change him, he has to want to change, blah blah blah.
How heartbreaking this all really is. How do I continue on?
Is there anyone out there who cares for my needs?
Respects my feelings 100%? If he is, can he please come to me?
I feel like I wouldn't be able to be alone. Oh well.
I'd finish with a quote from a song, but there are too many to describe my feelings.
Goodbye.
Oct. 9th, 2004 @ 06:06 am
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| » I tried. |
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Damn, not again.
I'm frustrated. I'm sick of being the only one who wants to make an effort. I won't see you for a long time now, and that's annoying.
I hate how when somethin is your fault it somehow turns around and becomes my fault? Usually I'd give in, but not this time. You never make an effort to call me when you're out or at all, I always call. I even made time for you to come over yesterday, I did some of my work the day before so I could be with you. I'm so serious about what I said; the thing where I'm not going to change until you apologize sincerely to me and do shit to show me that you're actually sorry, all those I'll make it up to you" times. We know that most likely won't happen, so looks like we are out of luck. Damn and we were real happy for a long time huh? Don't say that I'm acting stupid, it's really your fault this time. It's a combination of things tho. But why say them? I know you don't really care. Sigh. This is so sad anymore. I'm the only one ever crying.
& God knows I love you, that's why it's so damn hard to just let go. Just walk away like nothing. I know you can tho, you've showed me that before & now. So tell me, what is the use? I know writing this won't a difference to you. ; ( .. where did everything go so fucking wrong? It makes me so mad. I write, and talk and tell you, and still nothing is changed. You still don't make that effort, don't care... well forget it all then.
Is this the beginning of a bad ending? I really hope not, but I don't see anything else in the midst of it. It's breaking my heart to think that, but I don't know.
Help?
I thought we had it all
Until things started to recede
Giving me no love at all
Not caring enough about my needs
Gave you my heart
& all my soul
& not once did I let go, no
& I tried to stick by you
I tried to call
To let you know I'm here for you
& I'll give my all
Tried for so long
To hold on
But you won't belong
To anyone, anything
Any love at all
You had the best love of your life
But you didn't treat it right
No you didn't, no you didn't
Too busy running out all night long
Didn't even have the decency
To pick up the telephone & just call me
& let me know where you were
& that you're all right
So I can sleep at night
'Cause you showed out so
Had the nerve to break up our happy home
All I wanted to do for you
Tried for so long
To hold on
But you won't belong
To anyone, anything
Any love at all
I stood by your side
Sheltered for you
When things went down
I helped pull you through
Faithful and all
Trusting and more
But you took my heart by storm
Tried for so long
To hold on
But you won't belong
To anyone, anything
Any love at all
Oct. 3rd, 2004 @ 10:09 am
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| » Can we get it together? |
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If you really wanted to see me today, you would have made a bigger effort. Like I said, until you come to me with that apology & promise to make shit up, I'ma be the way I am now.
It's a shame that you still can't get this shit together. My birthday, those "I'm going to make it up to you baby", and now, today. Sigh.
& what's sad is that I can't stand to be mean to you for long because I love you too much to continue the argument, or whatever you want to call it.
I'll continue later, but now I'm out.
Oct. 2nd, 2004 @ 10:41 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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It's like ( I wanna know ) if my career catches fire
Out of all the woman in the world, why her? ( Oh why me, why me? )
Hold up now you gettin' mad at yourself,
Just take a look in the mirror
Be proud of yourself,
How many times I gotta tell ya
Boo you all that I got,
How many times I gotta tell ya
Be secure in your spot,
I understand so I can't knock it
But I'm your man stop it
Checkin' my 2-way
& goin' through my pants pockets
It's no need - you my girl, my wiz, my life
Look ma you - my heart, my all, my wife
& you pissed
'Cause you know other chicks would LOVE to smash your man
I tell 'em I'm aight
I take pride in that I'm your man
( My friends keep tellin me you ain't shit )
I done been through this before baby, same shit
Long as we know what we got
We can carry on boo
We can't go wrong ma
I wanna' know if you'll always be my baby
( my girl, my wiz, my life )
I need to know you'll always be my baby
( my heart, my all, my wife )
That song is me & my baby all around! Haha.
Oh & baby, a girl needs to be reassured, no matter if it's 1 time or 1000, we like be reassured. We want to know that we are the only one, the most beautiful & most important love in your life.
I LOVE YOU!
KISS KISS!
Sep. 30th, 2004 @ 02:51 pm
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| » It deserves a fight, dont' let us slip away... |
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Sorry that I am so nosey, but if you think about it, you did that to me.
You can choose to believe it or not, but that's the truth. I wasn't so nosey before that incident & now, like I said before I have reason to be nosey. Whether you like it or not, that's just how I am, due to situations.
But, I do feel bad for how I act sometimes, and I am so sorry. Especially for right now, if I could take it back, I promise you that I would.
We did have a perfect weekend, and I know what you are going to say.
"We were fine, and you had to go fuck everything up."
I hate when you say that shit, that makes me mad, because when you mess up, I don't say that to you. Those words make me always feel sad, and I wish you wouldn't say that.
It was quite unnecessary for your actions tho. You should also feel sorry for how you act towards me a lot of times. That hurts too ; (. I know I hurt you, or at least I think I do, you don't tell me how things make you feel. You just get really mad and try to get away from me in any way possible. You need to learn how to deal with situations tho, and walking away is not the answer.
You know what else? This is personal, but I'm going to say it here.
You don't touch me like you used to. In the sexual way. I can remember when we would kiss, with passion, and you'd lay me down and kiss me more, down and down and down. Or even just kissing and carressing until we'd do that. I feel like you don't really want me anymore, true?
That was embarrassing ; \
Anyways, I'm going to try harder to not be nosey, and to trust you, afterall, I couldn't imagine living without you. I'm so sorry, and you should be too.
I love you with all of my heart.
I don't want to fight with you, that's why I tried to avoid it.
I just want you in my life.
I know that things aren't going right
But don't you think it deserves a fight
A love like ours don't happen everyday
And we're losing it right as we speak
And if we don't wake up
It's a memory
A time gone past
A love that sailed away
We're not making love no more
We're not even trying to change
Tell me how it slips away
Does it ever stay the same
& we don't even talk no more
We ran out of words to say
Tell me it don't have to change
Won't it ever stay the same
Sep. 26th, 2004 @ 08:28 pm
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| » HE CALLED MY WIFEY!! |
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Today Eric said that he calls me his Wifey.
Sorta, but he said it!!!!
I don't know, but I think that is SO cute!!!!!
That made smile MORE than ANYTHING!!!
Now watch, he'll stop saying it ; ((
I HOPE NOT!! AWWWWWWWWWWH!
I love you pook!!
You can say that all you want, it's flattering to me. Heh.
<3<3
Sep. 21st, 2004 @ 08:16 pm
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| » It's a struggle. |
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Today is a gloomy day out. It's cloudy, and it's turning into fall. I'm feeling blah, once again. I hate it. I don't know why I still keep doing this? I want to believe that you can't hurt me again. I want to believe that you won't. But how do I really know that?
You went through something similar, how'd you cope so well? How the hell did you find it in your heart to trust and love me completely again?
I just want to know that you are all mine. I don't even want you talking to other girls, I don't care if that's selfish. I really don't want you to be looking at them, but how in the world would I know? It's hard. I'm left with this shit on my mind day after day, and I fucking hate it. I hate you for doing what you did. But yet, I love you so.
& now, I'm thinking about the promise you promised me. Do you remember? I hope that you follow through with it. I feel like I am pushing you away so much with all of this, but I have no clue how to deal. & it's so so hard. Love is right here, but with everything, it makes it so much harder. Love isn't supposed to be hard, hurtful, nothing. It's supposed to be pure. It's never perfect. We were so close to perfect. It's like our world was shot down and we are trying so hard to build it back up. But whatever the case, please don't turn your back on me. Please don't let anything else happen. That's all where the promise comes in. Dear God, make this all pass, please.
Can you take all of my pain away?
I need you now, more than ever. You make me whole. You make my world so much brighter, everything about you makes me feel love. I love you more than anyone could ever imagine.
This is one of our songs. It brings tears to my eyes. Are the lyrics still real to you?
Heaven
Heaven oh heaven, can't you help me?
I looked in her eyes
Now she's all I see
Heaven oh heaven, can't you help me?
First time I saw you girl
You turned me upsidedown
I can't stop thinking 'bout you
My head is spinning 'round
I got to find a way
To get with you somehow
Girl I'm so crazy for you
You know I want you now
& every minute
Of every single day
I'm dreaming of how it could be
& every night before I go to sleep
I'm praying that soon you'll be here with me
Heaven
Heaven oh heaven, can't you help me?
I looked in her eyes
Now she's all I see
Heaven oh heaven, can't you help me?
I'm down on my knees
Please help me
Can't fall asleep tonight
I don't know what to do
I hold my pillow
But I wanna' be holding you
& when I close my eyes
I always see your face
I know my happiness
Is only a kiss away
& every hour
Here in the dark
Every beat of my lonely heart
Tells me that I need to be with you
Heaven oh heaven, what can I do?
Heaven
Heaven oh heaven, can't you help me?
I looked in her eyes
Now she's all I see
Heaven oh heaven, can't you help me?
I'm down on my knees
Please help me
Girl I'd give anything
If you were here with me
Give you anything you want
& anything you need
I never thought that I
Could feel the way I do
But now I wanna' spend the
Rest of my life with you
& everyday that we are apart
I'm saving this love here in my heart
& every night before I go to sleep
I'm praying that soon you'll be here with me
Heaven
Heaven oh heaven, can't you help me?
I looked in her eyes
Now she's all I see
Heaven oh heaven, can't you help me?
I'm down on my knees
Heaven
Heaven oh heaven, can't you hear me?
I'll give her my love
For eternity
Heaven oh heaven, can't you help me?
I'm down on my knees
Please
Sep. 16th, 2004 @ 04:00 pm
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| » Baby Phat. |
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I want these shirts. I got a magazine from Venus Swimwear & I want SO much from that. & some from Forever21 & Victoria's Secret. Oh only if I had money!
Sep. 13th, 2004 @ 04:55 pm
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| » It feels so hopless. |
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Did I ever mention that this song makes me melt? This is my ultimate "make-up", "I'm sorry" song from you. I have yet to hear it. Only if you meant it, of course.
(( I'm such a hopeless romantic. I'd expect to come into my room, or the car with this song playing and a bunch of roses with an "I'm sorry", big hug and passionate kiss. ))
Sometimes all a girl needs is attention.
I so desperately need your attention.
I don't know where it all went so wrong.
Every small thing has passed through my head today, from what was said earlier, to days ago, to months ago, to years ago.
Remember when it all was so cute and perfect?
Mostly that was last year.
Now is when all those promises become obsolete.
Where everything means nothing.
All you do is assure me everything is fine, it's not.
Can't you see that I'm hurting?
Can't you see that I just want you?
I don't care about anything else in the world.
I feel like I'm trying so hard to get something back that I had.
The sad thing is that you're right there, but it's not you at all.
It's like you're cringing to be how you used to be, or something like that. Only to satisfy me.
All I want right now is to be held, and loved.
I can't even have one part of that.
My bed is calling my body & my pillows are calling all of my tears.
Can we go back to the days our love was strong?
Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong?
Can somebody tell me how to get things back the way they used to be?
Oh God give me no reason
I'm down on bended knee
Sep. 9th, 2004 @ 12:25 am
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| » Not good. |
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Woo, I'm not having a good day.
I guess this is one of those times where everything just keeps going downhill from here, huh? Ha. Just when I was starting to be happy again. Just starting, I wasn't quite there.
I'm really getting sick of it.
Like I said to you, I should just stop hoping for better, or the best. I know I will never get it.
So what is the point of everything, really?
The only thing I know for sure in my life right now, is school. I can't count on anything else, at all. Nothing has ever been there for me, why try now? & school, that all counts on me, and that's a definite because whenever I have to count on me for something, it always happens.
So forget everyone and everything else. What is the point of you being here when all you do is hurt me anyways?
Sep. 8th, 2004 @ 02:58 pm
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